A fallow field
Creativity in lockdown

I think this is week 8 of lockdown. Like everyone else I've been experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions, sometimes in really quick succession. It's tough isn't it?
I have had all my planned work cancelled. This included the return of Sound Symphony by Ellie Griffiths / Oily Cart / Independent Arts Project. I was due to perform in the show again for its tour to Bibu Festival in Sweden and Edinburgh International Children's Festival. I've also had cancelled work with long-term collaborators The Polar Bears; their show The Polar Bears Go Go Go! was due to tour Scotland this summer. And my show Lots and Not Lots received Made in Scotland funding to go to this year's Edinburgh Festival Fringe. All of it cancelled, of course. But I still don't think I've properly adjusted to how that feels.
And so I've not had anything to do. And I've not really felt like I had any creative drive for this whole period of lockdown. And then I had a couple of really good conversations with friends. First was with my friend Shiori who reminded me that I shouldn't feel guilty about not making art. And secondly with my friend Chris who reminded me that creativity is also a passive thing. So all the films Im watching, the books I'm reading, the music I'm listening to - that's being creative. Chris described me as a fallow field - left to allow the ground to fertilise and not be over-produced. I really like that.
I've started doing a couple more creative making things. I made a shaker instrument (image above) and I've been making some birthday videos for friends.
But in general I'm just waiting to see what happens next. I'm pretty scared for the future. But I'm also trying to focus on the right now and taking this as time to rest and repair.
